The truth and nothing but or ….
If you're wondering why my profession is an author but my blog is about raising children here's the answer. Four years ago, and into retirement, a newborn entered my life and now I am raising Lukas with the help of his Uncle Papa Anthony, his father Adam, and Uncle Andy and partner Chris. All together, I have five incredible, talented grandchildren.
I have been a mother for 45 years and find it the greatest profession on earth. I had a a little over two decades where I was alone as a widow writing eight to ten hours a day and then....my office turned into a nursery. My passion is still writing as I've known all my life that's what I needed....not wanted, but needed to do. My grandchild, however, stole my heart and I knew the moment I met him that I would give up anything for him, including writing time. I'm working on a sequel to paranormal thriller Miracle now but it will take longer than usual.
So, here I am writing thoughts about raising children which incorporates the two things I love the most; writing and being a mom.
Every year around the holidays parents discuss whether to raise their child with truth, or incorporate mythical characters into holidays. The following are my thoughts.
When I was growing up there were no arguments between parents on whether or not to tell a child that there is no such thing as a jolly old man who comes down a chimney (well, we didn’t have a chimney so I guess he broke in through a window), or if there was an Easter bunny. There was a Santa and a tooth fairy, and, come rain or shine, an Easter bunny.that delivered eggs.
Growing up, friends and neighbors gathered during the holiday season and Santa would always showed up with a bag slung over his shoulder. Everyone was in sync. Children were warned to be good as Santa was watching. As far as I know, when the truth was known, none of my friends or my children's friends were diagnosed with PTSD or became a career criminal because they were led to believe in imaginary tales.
Your children will know Santa isn't a real person long before you break the news. Other children are notorious for breaking the bubble of belief. If there are tears it’s because they might feel you won’t deliver the goods Santa does and not because they will miss Santa. Children are many times brighter than adults which has been proven over and over again. They are savvy, little, loveable monsters who manipulate and puff up with pride when they fool us. ; )
This is my two cents. When Luke watches cartoons and sees characters fly, or ride carpets, or do a superhero ‘thing,’ I tell him, “That’s magical.” He knows what magic is as we’ve talked about it many times – like pretending to steal his nose but it’s just my thumb, or coins disappearing – that kind of magic. He knows magical is not real, but pretend. Talking about Santa, a bunny who delivers candy, or a tooth fairy that puts money under a pillow in exchange for a tooth, or anything else sandwiched between truth and fantasy is “magical.”
Children do not resent happy times in childhood; they resent not having happy memories. I believe in allowing the same excitable moments in time we had, or at least, I did.
But then, I also believe children do not grow up resenting a parent who pops them on the rear when they run into the street or run away in a shopping mall where they could be snatched by a stranger. We are here to protect and mold a child to become responsible adults. And a chat and a pat doesn't do the job.
What are Luke and I doing this week? Making chocolate sugar cookies shaped like pumpkins (he only wants chocolate) freezing them and then decorating them on Halloween with orange frosting. Luke loves to bake and so do I.
I would enjoy hearing from you; about your traditions and how you handle myths. Please feel free to leave input on my author contact page at https://www.kimberlyshursen.com/about-the-author-contact as it's always good to hear how other parents handle issues.
I hope everyone has a safe and healthy Halloween. As for us, we will be staying home : ( as we live in a state that is now the number one state in the country for Covid.
Halloween, however, will come to us as when the doorbell rings and Luke will discover a pumpkin filled with goodies.
Until next time,